| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|12:33 pm] |
I know that you're out there
I know that you're getting close
You fill my dreams both day and night
Watch you standing while behind me the wind blows
I am being moved in places
That have not stirred for years
Despite not knowing you face to face
It's undeniable the time is near
The numb I feel is fading
As you creep into my head
Yet you seem so much the former
Even though the former's dead
Would that define irrationality
The imperishable hate and love
You share her traits prior to change
Explaining what the affection consisted of
So as I plan my route through time
I do not count being alone
You'll soon be here, You'll soon be near
And together we'll run from our homes |
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| Coming Home |
[Dec. 3rd, 2004|11:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
Well, it was a good ride, and I when I live out the rest of my serious life, I'll know that I gave it a shot. I lived a little before giving my life to the machine of progress. I figured myslef out, rather than forcing myself into a career path. All this is because I didn't get my character position or my live performance position. So their really isn't anything left for me down here. I think I'm going to go to Universal and see what they have, but I don't really know their system, or where or when their auditions are. Hmmmm....But it'll be good to be home, dollar bowling, karoake, family, familiar stuff...ya know. I don't know the reason for me coming here yet, but I'm sure it'll come to me.
Till the next time
(I'm a heartbreaker) |
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| I do love her. |
[Oct. 8th, 2004|10:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
I finally let go. I let go of my despite, my fear, and my doubt. And the world is not so bad. I feel warm and cared for, and not so fricken lonely anymore. Thank You God. In this one year, I have come full circle, and learned a wealth of knowledge that will last me a lifetime (or at least till my next major life crisis). Perfectly secure and content. Mmmm.
Till the next time. |
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| Hotter'n F#$K out there. |
[Oct. 3rd, 2004|03:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ben Folds "The Last Polka" | ] |
Seriously, I feel like Kramer everytime I get in the car. If I only had some butter, I pretty sure I'd cook up nice and tender everytime I got in. (I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining). Good News, Ben Folds new CD comes out on Tuesday!!!! That will Make 11 CD's of his that I have, and I love every single one of them. What an artist.
And the best news to ever grace this apartment. Leo (Matt and I's dirty nasty third roomate) is finally gone. I guess we made him uncomfortable (sarcastic shrug) I don't know where he got that idea. But all's well that ends well.
Till the next time ya'll |
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| It's been awhile |
[Sep. 29th, 2004|02:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
Well here I am in Florida. It's good to be back on my own. I like my job here at Disney, it's ok, but I think I could be doing more rewarding things. It's ok though, this is just for fun. I came right during hurricane season though. I've been through three now. It's crazy. I don't think a day has gone by where it hasnt rained. oh well, can't be like that forever. I do have a new girl friend though. She is from Texas (Mexico). She's stunningly beautiful, and seems to care for me alot, but I am having a hard time feeling anything for her. I like her alot, she's a great person and I enjoy hanging out with her, but ever since Lindsey, I really haven't used that part of my heart. It just sits there, like it doesn't even exist. I really wish it would wake up, because it would add alot of meaning to my life. Plus it makes me feel really shallow for being with her and not being emotionally on the same level. I want to have feelings, I'm just not. Whatever, that's all drama. I am having a blast recording the CD. I've got some really great recording software that's taking my music too a level I didnt even realize I could be at. I'm very happy. Plus I'm recording on my own time, which lets me pay attention to detail. But it's like 2:30 am, so I should be getting some sleep. Till the next time. |
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| It's gonna be a long summer |
[May. 18th, 2004|11:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
When i dropped out of school, i was on the rock bottom, and i couldnt have felt any worse about myself. So over the last seven months ive built my self esteem and self worth on my new goals and aspirations, redefining my self image. The biggest part to my redefinition has been Matt and James. If I hadnt had them to lose my inhibitions and social fears in, I would never have made the progress that I have made. We all know that we've had some phenominal times the last year and a half or so, but I dont know if they know how big of a roll they've played for me. And we knew this was coming, we knew that we were all gonna go our seperate ways, but it doesnt make it any more fun. James left for big rapids on Sunday, and Matt leaves for orlando in less than month, so we are never going to have dollar bowling together or karaoke, or rollerblading at 3 a.m. seeing how fast the cops radar detector says we're goin. We've had some great times, and this is how I will define friendship for the rest of my life. If anybody asks me what it means to be a friend, I will know. So thank you Mathew and James. Does it hurt? No.......Yes Everytime.
Till the next time |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2004|02:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
What a great night. Me and Matt went and saw Van Helsing. It was dissapointing but wasnt even close to exceeding my expectations. It was average, its biggest downfall being that the director (The Mummy) used some of the exact same special effects. It could've been improved upon, but overall it was decent. So Matt and I had some time to burn, so we were hangin out at the mall. We kept running into one of Matts many highschool girlfriends. She is stunningly attractive but so loopy i had a hard time not laughing at her ditzyness. Anyway, Matt and I have been planning a surprise party for J all week and it went down great. I got a cake with a picture of our faces on the night at the roxbury guys. It was hilarious. We surprised him at work. He didnt even have a clue. His manager was in on it and everything. Anyway we ended up at Matts house watchin movies till late. Then when we finally all crashed, me and J stayed up like for an hour longer talkin about deep issues that one only thinks about at night. Its kinda funny how we think about the deepest issues when we have the least amount of brainpower and energy to do it. Hmmmm? Anyway it was an absolute blast. I bought my mom her mothers day gift today. I bought her a $65 gift certificate to windows, a really fancy expensive restaurants, and a gift certificate to the movie theater. My parents really need a lesson in relaxation and hopefully this will help them out. Well gotta get to makin the big bucks. Till the next time. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 1st, 2004|09:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
I've spent a lot of money in the last 24 hours. I paid off half of my credit cards off, and i bought myself a nice lookin suit. A damn good lookin suit. Its a perry ellis and its black. Very stylish, i got a really silky lookin tie to go with it. slow down ladies ;-) Anywho, we had the concert last night. It was great to hear the highschool sing. Im so proud of them. it's great to know that the senoirs who are setting the example learned the traditions and ways frommy class. I just have a great sense of pride in that. They are doing so well this year. They have five soloist at the verdi, their goin to youth-arts. What a great bunch of kids. Anyway, i gotta get goin. Theirs a hockey game this afternoon. Go wings. Till the next time. |
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| I wish the sun would come back out!! |
[Apr. 30th, 2004|03:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Everyday is so wonderful, suddenly its hard to breathe.
Now and then i get...OK ill stop. We're getting ready to do a concert at first congregational tonight, and i dont have a black suit coat. Maybe its time to give in and buy one. Im sure ill use it the rest of my life right? Anyay it'll be fun, because the highschoolers will be there doin there thing too. They sound so good, im so proud of them. all my sophomores are getting ready to graduate and go on to college. My God how time flies. Its too bad for them that in my mind they will always be a little smore. we are doin some really stupid songs for this concert, its kinda irritating.
Their good songs, and well written, but just overrall boring to listen too im sure. They kindof have the style of the music in frosty the snowman, rudolph the red nosed reindeer and such. Just kinda tacky 70's childrens music. But im sure im the only one that thinks so. Anyway,. home is callin. till next time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2004|10:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
It was a busy weekend. I did a whole lot of working but yesterday was a blast. Matt and James came over and we made a recording of all of our little inside jokes. It was so funny. "It's French". Hahaha. Anyway, we made the recording and went out and got some food before i had to work. Then we all hooked up later at streeters for the karaoke competition. It was so funny. J did "Just a Girl". He had a blonde wig and a feather boa and everything. It was hilarious. Matt did a counting crows song, and I did "Somebody to Love" by Queen. And I won!! Its pretty cool i guess. I get to compete at the semifinals. ooooooh. Anyway, we'll see what happens. It's bowlin night tonight so it should be a great night. Till the next time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2004|01:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
It seems as if winter is finally giving up. This is my absolute favorite time of year. All my friends come back from school, i make lots of money, northbar, northpeak, rollerblading, swimming, girls, cherry fest, the list just goes on and on my friend. I feel like im eight years old again waiting for christmas. Seriously i just cannot wait for summer to get here, and im even more anxious for summer to be over so i can move to florida. Four months and twelve days. Summer for the next couple years!!! How cool.
Im so happy with life. It just gets better everyday. Not many people can say that. Everyday since i moved back to tc i wake up happier than the day before. It truly is amazing that i can be so satisfied and content with my life. I have been truly blessed. till next time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2004|11:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eltohn John "Your Song" | ] |
Isnt it funny, the pain of a song.
It only takes a bar then all the memories come back
Memories of "better times" all of which are gone
And memories of deciding to get my life on track
I spent so long hardening my heart to you,
hardening it to stone, deep and full
so if you ever tried to cut me again,
your knife would just crack and dull
But one simple hook, and i cannot help but to melt
fighting the rush of emotions that flood through my still empty heart.
It's not like when your not in love a different emotion sets in.
Its just gone...and your standing alone where the end leads back to the start
That part of my heart is idle and numb,
and so when these tormenting memories burn
my heart stings like the day you left me
So how well could i do if you tried to return,
would i be able to resist.
Every muscle in my reason and logic screams to try,
but when something as simple as a song can bring me to me knees
how much of a chance do i have to turn you aside
I dont want anybody new, i dont want a replacement,
but i fear thats the only way to cleanse you from my heart.
Your stink still permeates the halls of my emotion
And a new fragrance is the only way to give me a fresh start |
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| Whats with the late nights? |
[Apr. 7th, 2004|03:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pleased | ] |
I thought I was out late last night, try 5 a.m. Not very smart of me considering i had dental surgery this morning. I was just gonna crash after work last night, but matt called me up. Turns out the Robyn girl from the bowling alley had been calling us to hang out. So anyway we met her at streeters (what a dive). We played some darts, air hockey, and pool (which I beat Matt in all of them), but the girls were driving us crazy so as we walked out on the dancefloor, me and matt slipped away without telling um. We're so bad. Not that we had that much more fun. What else is their to do. Meijer's of course. Did you know that they still sell yoohoo. YOOOOHOOOO. HAHAHA. Anyway matt and I bought the third matrix and some chips, cheese, and salsa and watched the movie till 4:30 in the a.m. So it wasnt easy getting to the dentist this morning and getting my BRAND NEW SHINY FRONT TEETH. They're a little whiter than the rest of my teeth, so I think I need to invest in some whitining toothpaste so I dont look like I have chiclets for front teeth. Aight, I'm out. Till the next time.
P.S. My pictures online now!!!! Very Exciting. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2004|11:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
Oops, im a little late for work because i was a little late goin to bed last night. Last night was bowlin night, so i was out a little late. James and I got there an hour and half before they take reservations and we still were like eighth in line. But we got our lanes, and we played some euchre with coglin and this girl named robyn that we met. Yeah Robyn was a little crazy. She was normal before bowling but when her grouped bowled next to us last night she was completely wasted. So like any stupid drunk she made some rash decisions, like dump her boyfriend and then flirt with matt and I. Of course we didnt mind, but neverless not a good decision. And Matt told us he's done bowling till he leaves for florida, which kinda sucks. I really look forward to bowlin, its the highlight of my week. When you work 70 hours a week you really can appreciate one night of no responsibility. But without matt we really aren't going to have enough people to go. I dunno I've met alot of people at the alley, and I pretty sure I could just go and bowl with them, but it wouldn't really be the same. We really let go when we bowl, yellin and making dicks out of ourselves. Its a blast! Its ok, im only here a few more months before I go to Florida!! Uhhh, I cant wait. 4 months and 19 days. Til the next time. |
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